Yesterday I drove the Eldorado to Fort Lee ta see Francine.

Her being in some mysterious Recovery Program I try my best to meet her once a week ta talk. I'm not her "buddy", but I know she kinda depends on me like for support and all. Usually I like to meet her at a beautiful Italian restaurant, but this time she invited me over for cawfee and cake.

When I arrived I could hear her blasting that Abba music through the door. You know Francine coulda been the "dancing queen", about 20 years and 50 pounds ago, but for Gawd sakes, not now!

I rang the doorbell and heard the music lower some. "Francine Gellatano You look terrific!," I said. She certainly looked like she had seen betta days.

I almost died when I saw what she looked like. There she was standing at the door in her black leotard and a headband that I'm absolutely sure was previously owned by Gloria Gayna. "Oh my Gawd'" I said, "You look wondaful". I know she looked like Olivia Newton John going through the menopause, but I wanted to be supportive.

"What's cooking Bakala-head'" I exclaimed.

She said everything was good and that nothing changes from one week to the next. Francine said "afta all what is life?, they say cake is life". Oh my Gawd I thought now she's really loosing it!

Poor, poor Francine. You see she was engaged to be married to Johnny Stelletto, but she caught her future husband in bed with his secretary Anna Buttana. Disgraciado! She said to come on in and well have something ta eat.'' How about cake and a nice Frappaccino?". So I said," Okay bakala, but just a small slice for me because I'm onna diet". Capiche?

Oh my goodness, she said. "Your nails look like butta, just like Barbra Streisand's." "Oh yea!, didn't they come beautiful. I tried the French polish this time. I know it's a change from my bright red, but I feel just like Sophia Loren now!

"Fabulous, fabulous" she said. A few minutes went by and Francine plopped an entire Ricotta Cheesecake in the center of the table. So much for spending the afternoon with a friend and her compulsive disorder I thought. "I wonna eat!", she said.

So there I was dear diary alternating between slices with tall glasses of water, because you know that when you eat if you have a sip of water with what ever you are eating the calories don't count! S'trew!

We ate until the last piece of cheesecake disappeared! Oh my Gaaaaawd!